Saturday--But Not in the Park!

Remember that song by the rock group Chicago, "Saturday in the Park?" Hence, my title. If you were born after 1970, you probably never heard of them, but they were big "back in the day."

Anyway, I bought a new laptop computer today. It has major power for gamers. When I checked out, the guy from the Geek Squad said, "Nice computer. What games do you play?" When I told him none, he looked quite shocked. I told him I just wanted MORE POWER. He said I should have plenty. We'll see. I went over my budget by $300, but I figure when the desktop dies, this one can replace it.

I went to school today and started working on my plans for the first week. I was inspired by a random thought and turned it into a week's worth of work. It's not formally compiled or written down yet, but I figure I can sketch it out on Monday. We have opening day for teachers on Monday, but no kids until Tuesday. Unfortunately, they stay allllllllll day the first day. It will be a long week. We have started on a Friday for the past few years, and that worked great.

My life is getting back to normal--thank goodness. I am not ready to rise from bed at the crack of dawn, but I think I am ready to get back into a routine. I've always said, "After about 10 minutes back, it's like you never really left."

My team members do not have their rooms ready. We're talking piles of "stuff" everywhere. One does not surprise me--she is a fly by the seat of your pants kind of gal. The other, however, astonishes me. She is always so precise in all that she does, and is usually ready way before school starts. She told me she was going to make changes. I think she means it. I also think I noticed some weight gain right in her belly--I am thinking she might be pregnant. It wouldn't surprise me a bit--I think she has been wanting to add to the family.

I think she will be good for me this year as I start my journey towards more balance between school and home. She is certainly off to a great start as a role model. (Although I don't think there would be any way I could have let my room go unfinished this long unless it was dire consequences.)

The temperatures for this week are predicted for mid to high 90's, so that will put our heat index over 100. No outdoor recess for a while. I sweat when the A/C is full blast and a personal fan is blowing on me. When kids complain, I tell them to bring a jacket and leave it at school. They can add more clothing, but I can't eliminate any.

I'm off to watch a funny movie.

The Last Friday

Sounds ominous, huh? It's not the LAST Friday ever, just the last Friday of this summer's vacation. It's back to school on Monday, then kids come Tuesday for the entire day. I am glad I got my room decorated early. We had a death in the family, and I've been in a tailspin ever since. I have to get those plans done, though. I don't even have the first week in place, and that is sooooooooo unlike me. Maybe I am really going to make those changes this time--I pray!

I really do NOT enjoy lesson plans. Unfortunately, it goes with the job.

A retired teacher stopped me today and said she had some of my deceased aunt's books that she needed to return. "I was going to take them back and get some more. I always thought there would be time." Lesson learned. Treat every person as if it's the last time you will see them--because one day, it will be.

It has been an emotional day. The last of the family headed back to their perspective homes, and my house was quiet. The noise of children, chatter of friends, and ringing of the phone had finally stopped. In a way, I was ready for some peace and quiet, but in another way, it was weird. I just sat and cried for a few minutes and hoped it was out of my system. It wasn't sobbing, just crying for a loss. Then, I choked up in front of a friend and had to leave her standing there, which I find embarassing, though I am sure she understood. I guess it will just take time.

Anyway, end of vacation has arrived. For those about to teach, I salute you!

The Power of Now

I am currently reading the book The Power of Now. It was recommended by Oprah, so I decided to give it a try. A lot of it is pshyco-babble, way above my head, but I swear parts of that book have spoken to me.

The gist of the entire book is "live in the moment" because basically that is all you have and all that matters. Now, common sense tells us that, but how many of us really listen and follow? Not me!

I looked back at a post I wrote June 29, and I was already thinking about school. When I go on a vacation, I can't seem to fully enjoy it for thinking about the vacation ending. I decided to read The Power of Now, hoping it would give me some insight into ways to manage my "worrying." I think it did.

Yesterday I went to school and met the tech person in the hallway. He immediately started rattling off problems (we are good friends) and talking about his frustration. Then, he started talking about the new computer program all teachers must use and how many kinks were still unresolved with it, and I started to panic. The Power of Now mantra entered my brain. STOP! You only have to deal with this moment and nothing else. Just this moment. I shared this with my friend, who now wants to borrow my book.

Does it prevent me from worrying every time? No. Does it always make me feel better? No. But I think with practice, it could. It makes a lot of sense. Yesterday is done, and I can never bring it back or change what happened. Tomorrow may never come, and if it does, it will have worries of its own, so why think about it today? Instead, focus on this moment.

The Power of Now offers helpful advice. It has shown promise during these summer months. The true test will come when school starts.

I Got THE LIST

I got the list of my new students for the 08-09 school year this week. For some reason I always get a knot in my stomach when I see that envelope with the school name in the corner when I pull it from the mailbox. Will I get "the bad ones"? Will I get all the special need kids? Will I get the one whose mother hovers around every day making sure her "baby" is being treated right? Will I get the children of a teacher in my building? Will I get the children of the principal, superintendent or other central office administrator, or a board member's child?

After jumping to all the possible worst conclusions, I convince myself there is only one way to find out--just like a sticky band aid, rip it as fast as possible to get it over with.

I do so and take a look, quickly scanning for any of the aforementioned students.

Maybe I should have left it sealed.

There it is in black and white. The names of four boys who are known as problem children, the child of an administrator, and the children of several fellow teachers. Ooooohhhhh my! I spend the next few days convincing myself it won't be that bad and that I can handle anything and that if I survived last year I can do anything. It won't be so bad! I can do this! I've been doing it for over 20 years after all, and not one class has managed to do me in yet. (Although a few have come VERY close.) I feel better. The knot has come untied.

Until.....I see the school secretary when going to the school to do some work. She says, "Oh, I saw your list. You got all the rough ones." I console myself by repeating silently, "What does she know? She can't possibly know all these kids." Again, my mantra is "I can do this, I can do this." As I walk down the hall, I start to feel a little better when I see Mrs. X from across the hall.

"Hi," she says, all smiles. "I notice you got my delightful John Doe in your room this year. He about killed me last year. I felt the need for alcohol every night and I don't even drink. Good luck." Oh no, here comes that knot again. I kindly thank her for her insight while thinking, "Oh, she's a rookie. No wonder she had trouble with him. She didn't have the experience I do in dealing with these kids." I repeat my mantra silently and walk into my room. I can do this, I can do this.

Soon there is a knock at the door. It is the PE teacher who has had every kid in the building. "You had better ask for a year's leave of absence. If you think you had it bad last year, just wait. This year's list looks even worse. You are in for it, girl." Again, that annoying knot. Again, I thank him for his insight, which he continues to enlighten me with for about 10 minutes before finally leaving.

My mantra continues. I can do this. I CAN do this. I CAN DO this. I CAN DO THIS.

Maybe if I say it enough times I'll get the knot untied again. Say some prayers. Yes, I know I can do it, but a little help from upstairs sure wouldn't hurt.