Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Sunday, December 14, 2008

An Ode to Testing--Darned If I Do, Darned If I Don't...

We did middle of the year testing recently. There is stress to show improvement, as any teacher on the planet knows. I am not sure whether to be ecstatic or scared....my class scored in the 90s.

I guess I am having a crisis of conscience. I didn't prompt them during the test. I didn't answer questions or give them help when they asked for it during the test. I did, however, make sure that everything I remembered being on the test was covered in class. Maybe drilled would be a better word.

I don't conisder it cheating. Anything done PRIOR to giving out the test is fair game, in my try-not-to-analyze-it-too-much mind. The ethics police, as well as some other teachers--including some of you reading this--might have a different opinion.

I have done this for a while. The pressure was too great not to. Administration handed teachers technical manuals for their grades that CONTAINED specific material to be tested. How could we NOT teach it? To me, it would be pointless not to. Isn't that what we are more or less being told to do when we are given the material?

Yes, that probably is what we are being told to do...however, if someone ends up questioned, it won't be the administrators who gave us the books. The teachers will be the fall guys. Isn't that the way the world works? I have a feeling, "But THEY gave the book to use all year, day in and day out" would fall on deaf ears of those standing in judgement, as they would all be administrators, too.

I have really been thinking about this a lot. I have talked to other teachers who do the exact same thing I do. Some feel a little guilty for it, like me; others say who cares? My concern is for the kids. Yes, the good scores get me off the hook, but does the prep that I put them through that delivers those scores harm the kids? Do the scores become inflated and kids lose out on help because I taught them what they needed to know to do well on a test? Is that really learning? Is it really indicative of their ability?

I have had really bad test scores in the past. I have been told to "get the scores up." Suggestions included giving them practice tests, presenting items in the same manner in which they would be presented on the test, and offering rewards to kids who do well on the test. After a particularly low set of scores a few years back in my grade level, all the teachers in my grade spent six hours meeting with two administrators who HELD IN THEIR HANDS actual copies of the test booklets. They gave us "similar" examples for all the questions to use with our kids. I think "teach them what they need to know" was certainly implied. So, we did. We took those similar examples, taught them, saw test scores improve, and our lives become easier. I have done the same thing ever since. Luckily, they don't change the test items very often.

Maybe I am just feeling guilty, but every time I walk by an administrator, I expect to be told, "I need to see you in my office. You are going to get it for teaching the test." I would deny it, of course, but my poker face is no good. They could use the lights in face technique you see in the old movies and have me singing like a songbird.

I just want to make it to retirement with as little trouble and fuss as possible, draw my hard earned pension, and let the younger generation of teachers worry about the almighty test score.

In the event you don't hear from me again, just assume the testing police caught up with me, have thrown me into "teaching the test" jail, and thrown away the key.

I have a feeling I'll be in good company. But, say a prayer for all of us anyway.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Power of Now

I am currently reading the book The Power of Now. It was recommended by Oprah, so I decided to give it a try. A lot of it is pshyco-babble, way above my head, but I swear parts of that book have spoken to me.

The gist of the entire book is "live in the moment" because basically that is all you have and all that matters. Now, common sense tells us that, but how many of us really listen and follow? Not me!

I looked back at a post I wrote June 29, and I was already thinking about school. When I go on a vacation, I can't seem to fully enjoy it for thinking about the vacation ending. I decided to read The Power of Now, hoping it would give me some insight into ways to manage my "worrying." I think it did.

Yesterday I went to school and met the tech person in the hallway. He immediately started rattling off problems (we are good friends) and talking about his frustration. Then, he started talking about the new computer program all teachers must use and how many kinks were still unresolved with it, and I started to panic. The Power of Now mantra entered my brain. STOP! You only have to deal with this moment and nothing else. Just this moment. I shared this with my friend, who now wants to borrow my book.

Does it prevent me from worrying every time? No. Does it always make me feel better? No. But I think with practice, it could. It makes a lot of sense. Yesterday is done, and I can never bring it back or change what happened. Tomorrow may never come, and if it does, it will have worries of its own, so why think about it today? Instead, focus on this moment.

The Power of Now offers helpful advice. It has shown promise during these summer months. The true test will come when school starts.