Two Weeks Down...and Counting 8/16/08

A second week of school is behind me. I have sat on them from moment one. Too many of these little whipper snappers have the potential to be hellions if I give them so much as an inch. They can call mean, bear, witch, etc. They can call me anything as long as they mind me.

I have three, or maybe four, on ADHD meds, and I got a new one this week who is supposedly getting on them soon. I believe God puts people in your path for a reason, so I guess the reason I got the new one, even though I already had the highest number in my grade level, will be made clear to me in the future. I asked the principal why I got him even though I had the highest number. She said the roster she was looking at had not been updated, so she put him in my room. She offered to move him, but I told her I had already talked to the mom, created a rapport, and felt that she would be comfortable with me. If it was my kid, I wouldn't want to meet a teacher, create a connection I felt comfortable with, then find out he was moved.

I do not like getting new students. It upsets the apple cart and messes up the entire groupd dynamic that has aleady been established. However, I would rather get them in the beginning of the year rather than later on, so maybe it will work out for the best.

His mom wrote "we will talk about this at the IEP meeting" on just about every piece of enrollment paperwork she had to fill out. As I told the special ed. secretary, she is "jonesing" for a meeting. Might be an interesting one....

I love the fact that I am typing this while watching TV. Going wireless is the BOMB. I highly recommend it. I still use my desktop, mainly because I don't have all my files transferred yet, but I'll get there sooner or later.

I have almost finished my second reading of The Power of Now. My principal is now reading it, and she stops to talk about it with me from time to time, which I enjoy. I would love to start a book club and use that particular book. I have found it amazing! I remember reading in Oprah magazine that Meg Ryan was on Oprah's show several years ago, and she told the audience, "If you only read one book, read The Power of Now. It will change your life." Oprah took her advice, reading the little known book. When she went public with her approval, the book made it to the top seller lists and the author became famous. Anyway, I'm glad the book found it's way to me.

I REALLY Want a Life

I am back in the swing of things at school. Tomorrow is Friday and will end the first week with kids. So far, so good. I just try to take it one day at a time, per my new attitude.

I have gotten up and done the treadmill most mornings this week. I have to get up around 5 AM, which means bed around 9. Not exciting, but necessary, if I want to function in the classroom.

Along with my new attitude, I have signed up with two on-line dating services. I decided it was time to take a chance, and that seemed like an easy way to dip my toes in the dating pool without getting totally wet. Unfortunately, I don't appear to be having much luck.

I have sent icebreakers that never got a response. I ALWAYS respond when someone contacts me, even if it's just to say, "Sorry, I don't think this will work out. Good luck in your search." It is extremely disheartening to put yourself out there and have no one respond. One guy was corresponding on a regular basis, then boom, I have heard nothing all week. It's a shame, too. We really seemed to have a lot in common. He did not seem like the kind of guy who would drop me without an explanation, but then again, how much do I really know about him? For all I know he could be a 14 year old who posted a picture of his uncle and made his profile from complete lies.

I hate rejection, but who doesn't? I guess it just goes with the game. I thought I gave that particular game up in college. Dating is like a looking for a job --always wondering if you made a good impression and asking yourself things like: Did I say the right thing in my e-mail? Did I respond too soon? Should I have waited longer to send a reply? Did he get that a certain line was supposed to be a joke or did he take it seriously? I swear you could drive yourself crazy trying to figure it all out.

I'm not giving up though. I am still sending icebreakers. I also put out the word with friends that I am now willing to be "fixed up". I have always firmly been against this, but again, I think it's time to take the chance. One friend approached me today about someone she knew. I told her to start working on it, I was more than willing to try.

I am so much more than a teacher. Due to my choices, however, that's all most people see. I want to be good at my job, and I believe I am. But spending all my time on it has cost me a lot in the personal part of my life. I am so hoping it's not too late to fix it, or at least make it better. I feel like I am standing at a crossroad and just hoping destiny sends me in the direction I want and need.

Well, at least I am fretting about something other than school. Who would have ever believed that?!

My 24th First Day

Well, I survived another first day--my 24th. For a first day, it went relatively well--no major outburts or criers. (You would think in third grade they would be past crying, but I've had one or two the last few years.)

Only one mama seemed unpleasant. Maybe she didn't mean to be--I don't live her life. She was just very short and kept saying, "but your list said." Well, maybe she thought it said that, but it didn't.

I did not yell or scream, although I did have to speak loudly to get their attention a couple of times. I did, however, hear a friend down the hall already yelling and barking like it was the middle of the year instead of the beginning.

I told this class, like I have told every class, "do what I tell you to do and I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet. Disobey me and then all those people who said I was mean will turn out to be right. It's always your choice. Choose wisely, boys and girls." We'll see if it takes.

I saw two new kindergarten teachers. One had a smile plastered on her face that said, "Yeah, I am surviving, but just barely." I taught Kindergarten at one point and LOVED it, but I would never want to go back. I've aged considerably since then.

I always forget from year to year how much you have to train a class to do things your way. And one thing about this group--boy do they ask questions. Before I can explain or get a sentence out of my mouth, there are hands waving to ask "What if...?" I don't answer very many "what ifs." I just say when it happens, we'll deal with it.

I am exhausted. I left at 4:30, meeting one of the goals I have set for myself. My desk looked pretty bad, but I was just too tired to deal with it. It will be waiting for me tomorrow. I do have to run some labels for folders tonight, but after that, I am taking the night off.

My 9:30 bedtime was not early enough. Think I'll shoot for 9 tonight.

Hope everyone's first day goes well. I'm sure glad mine is over for another year.

And, as always, for those about to teach, I salute you!!!