School Has Officially Made Me Sick

Well, school has officially made me sick. I've had kids with snotty noses and hacking coughs in my face all week, and it finally caught up with me. It started with a scratchy throat on Wednesday night, and by Thursday morning, it was full blown illness. I went to school at 5 AM to get stuff laid out for my sub. On Friday, she was on her own. Luckily, my sub was a retired teacher I used to work with, so I am sure I will find everything in good shape when I return. I thought about going up this afternoon, as my plans are not finished for next week, but my energy level is not back to normal yet, so I put it off until tomorrow. I can go after church. I have a lot to do---finish plans, put out papers, prepare centers, grade papers, then enter the grades in the new mandated computer program. It makes me dizzy just thinking about all of it.

I am feeling better, but I have plans for tonight and I am saving what energy I have for then. I have a DATE. I am so looking forward to actually meeting this man in person. He seems genuine. I talked to him on the phone, and we arranged to meet tongiht for a first date. Cross your fingers for me. It's a shame I got sick right at this particular time, but at least I am feeling better and did not have to cancel. It has been so long since I played the Dating Game, and I had forgotten how exhausting it can be. What to wear was a major decision that took around an hour with several people putting in their opinions. I just keep thinking "You never get a second chance to make a first impression," so I want to look my best. I also just want to have an enjoyable evening. Conversation with someone over 8 and under 70 will be a refreshing change....

When I set out to change my life, I really changed it. My positive outlook is affecting all parts of my life. Good things seem to come my way (other than this unpleasant illness). I am just enjoying feeling alive.

A teacher I work with lost one of her best friends to an accident that occurred on a church outing. It was by the grace of God that she was not there with her family to witness the entire thing. This 36 year old woman left behind a husband and 8 year old daughter. Please keep them in your prayers. They have a rough road ahead. Just another reminder to all of us to treasure every moment.

I REALLY Want a Life

I am back in the swing of things at school. Tomorrow is Friday and will end the first week with kids. So far, so good. I just try to take it one day at a time, per my new attitude.

I have gotten up and done the treadmill most mornings this week. I have to get up around 5 AM, which means bed around 9. Not exciting, but necessary, if I want to function in the classroom.

Along with my new attitude, I have signed up with two on-line dating services. I decided it was time to take a chance, and that seemed like an easy way to dip my toes in the dating pool without getting totally wet. Unfortunately, I don't appear to be having much luck.

I have sent icebreakers that never got a response. I ALWAYS respond when someone contacts me, even if it's just to say, "Sorry, I don't think this will work out. Good luck in your search." It is extremely disheartening to put yourself out there and have no one respond. One guy was corresponding on a regular basis, then boom, I have heard nothing all week. It's a shame, too. We really seemed to have a lot in common. He did not seem like the kind of guy who would drop me without an explanation, but then again, how much do I really know about him? For all I know he could be a 14 year old who posted a picture of his uncle and made his profile from complete lies.

I hate rejection, but who doesn't? I guess it just goes with the game. I thought I gave that particular game up in college. Dating is like a looking for a job --always wondering if you made a good impression and asking yourself things like: Did I say the right thing in my e-mail? Did I respond too soon? Should I have waited longer to send a reply? Did he get that a certain line was supposed to be a joke or did he take it seriously? I swear you could drive yourself crazy trying to figure it all out.

I'm not giving up though. I am still sending icebreakers. I also put out the word with friends that I am now willing to be "fixed up". I have always firmly been against this, but again, I think it's time to take the chance. One friend approached me today about someone she knew. I told her to start working on it, I was more than willing to try.

I am so much more than a teacher. Due to my choices, however, that's all most people see. I want to be good at my job, and I believe I am. But spending all my time on it has cost me a lot in the personal part of my life. I am so hoping it's not too late to fix it, or at least make it better. I feel like I am standing at a crossroad and just hoping destiny sends me in the direction I want and need.

Well, at least I am fretting about something other than school. Who would have ever believed that?!