One Mad Mama

Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you that I never miss school. It's just easier to go than to try and catch up upon returning. Well, yesterday and today were my fourth and fifth sick days this year...and we are not yet one fourth of the way through. I still have 148 sick days left, but still, that pile that awaits me tomorrow just fills me with a sense of dread.

These last two days I was out for medical testing. You don't want to know the specifics. Just suffice it to say I would RATHER have been at school, I'm very glad it's all over, and it all turned out well.

I didn't get to eat for 36 hours and I was not pleasant to be around. I rarely am when I am dieting, so when I can't eat at all, I'm a real beast. Not being able to drink water sucks, too. Just makes you want it all the more.

Enough of my medical issues.

My child who moved in a few weeks ago moved on to another school. Good. He was a discipline problem and his mother was never happy with anyone or anything, and it was NEVER her child's fault. I kindly pointed that out to her during an ARC, and they moved shortly thereafter. She butted heads with the principal, too. She did not have nice things to say about her child's previous school, but I have a feeling their side of the story would differ greatly from hers. Oh well, I wish him well...as long as he stays somewhere else.

I made a mother cry on Friday. She called to report her child was being picked on. I was fortunate to have witnessed one of the incidents she cited, so I had to kindly explain to her that her little darling was as guilty as the other child. After a few moments of deafening silence, I said, "I can tell you are not happy with what I am saying." She went on to tell me that regardless of what I was seeing now, it had always been totally the other child in previous years. She wound up crying and hanging up on me. After I informed the principal of the situation and calmed down myself, I thought about what to do. I took both children out in the hall separately and told them they were NOT to so much as look in the direction of the other. I also moved them apart, against my better judgment, because they both needed to be up front where I had them for various reasons. I wound up leaving the mom a voicemail telling her that I had talked to both children, moved her child, informed the principal, etc. I told her I felt the problem had been dealt with, but she could contact me or the principal if she felt the need to do so. I feel like I made an enemy, but I refuse to sugar coat the issue--she cannot blame everything on someone else when I have SEEN her child with my own eyes doing exactly what she is accusing the other child of doing. The blame must be shared. She even accused the other kid of kicking in a bathroom stall while her child was sitting in it. Now my kids tattle about everything, and not one child mentioned that to me--including her child.

She practically ruined my weekend. I just hate it when there are parent problems. I have been lucky the last few years to not have many, but this may be the year I make up for it. I try to accomodate parent wishes whenever I can, but this one just hit me wrong. Anyway...it is what it is. She's really not going to be happy when she sees his progress report and finds that he also does not listen, does not follow rules or directions, and does not accept responsibility for his behavior. Most of these were discussed during our aforementioned conversation, but I am sure seeing them in print will make her very happy. NOT!

Why can't kids just get along?????????????????

A New Life

The man of my dreams that I met via the online dating service finally got in touch...long enough to say it wasn't going to work out. Such hopes, such dreams dashed in the course of a few seconds.

What is the old saying? When you fall off the horse, get right back on. Easier said than done, but I am sending out the signals again, trying to cast my net wider. Hope springs eternal.

He was such a good distraction from school...

Speaking of school, I brought home a bag full of work and left it in the backseat of my car. The thought of grading papers right now makes me ill.

I have really let things go this year, more so than I ever thought I would or even could. Some days I feel like I'm fumbling around like a rookie. I can't seem to find anything. And my desk........it looks like an atomic bomb hit it. I have thrown away center work (Reading First requires it) because I am covered up with more papers than I will ever get to grade. I have laid aside papers and "to do" chores that had no definite deadlines, which in the past I would have jumped right on.

I just don't care as much as I used to. I figure if they need them bad enough, they'll give me a shout. I used to live in fear of those shouts. Now, not so much.

I'm not depressed. Modern chemistry has taken care of that. Just disappointed and very tired. I had a girls' night out on Friday, then an all day scrapbook crop on Saturday. I fell asleep last night watching TV and woke up in the same postion with the TV still on at 5 AM. I took a three hour nap after church today, and I still think I could go to bed right now!!!

My anti-aging quest continues. I had my first micropeel on Thursday. If you like heat, you should definitely try micropeels out. My face felt like it was on FIRE. I am flaking like crazy. I have brown patches of dead skin which I was repeatedly told not to pick, but how can anyone NOT pick it? It's just hanging there, begging to be ripped off. Now, where I was unable to resist the urge, I have red spots. I bet putting on make up for school tomorrow will be lots of fun. I've been lathering up with moisturizer all weekend, so hopefully I'll see some improvement by tomorrow morning. (My fingers are crossed anyway.)

I don't like Sunday nights, but I really hate Monday mornings. For those about to embark on another week of educating our nation's youth, I salute you!

Still Waiting on a Life

I swear I think I am being tested. How long am I supposed to wait for a phone call from a man who acted interested then seemed to drop me without warning? After a cancelled date (for which he had a good excuse), I am waiting for that follow up phone call which should have come days ago. The one where he says, "Oh, I'm so sorry I had to break our date. How about this weekend?" At this point I would even settle for a friendly "hello, I really don't hate you. I'm just rotten at communicating with the opposite sex."

My sister told me she was glad she didn't have to date anymore. Imagine that! Why wouldn't anyone love this constant feeling of inadequacy and rejection? It just really builds up your self confindence and makes you feel really good about yourself.

I went back and reread parts of The Power of Now. It reminded me that I should not depend on anyone other than myself for happiness and that if I just deal with THIS MOMENT, all problems will disappear like magic.

I'm trying, but it doesn't seem to be working. Oh, the joys of the single life!

Enough of feeling sorry for myself. Men are like buses; if you miss one you can always catch the next one.

Five Weeks and Counting....

We just finished our fifth week of school. Hard to believe. I remember when it took FOREVER to get from one birthday to the next. Once, when I was around 14, I mentioned this to a youth leader at my church. He told me, "Just wait until you hit 21. You won't believe how fast time will go by then." Boy was he ever right.

My current count of students with ADHD is up to six. I am running out of room arrangements to accomodate their need to have their own spaces. I like to put desks in groups of six, and I have done so for years, but that does not appear to work with this particular group. The more kids I have to put into their "own space," the smaller my room becomes.

This class seems to be better behaved than my previous class. There are several who have the potential to be major pistols, but I am keeping them on a short leash. So far it's working, so cross your fingers. A parent wrote me the nicest email this week about how much she appreciated my structured class and high student expectations. I wrote her back to thank her for taking the time to email me. Parents always let you know when they don't like something, so it is always especially nice to hear compliments. I even keep a file of such notes and have done so for several years. Every once in a while when I am feeling overworked and under appreciated, I get out my "feel better file." It always does the trick, and reminds me that the way I spend my days does make a difference in many lives.

I have read The Power of Now two times, but I find that I have to constantly remind myself not to fall back into old habits, i.e. staying at school until 5 or 6 and then bringing a bag full of papers home to grade, worryiing about pleasing Reading First higher ups, agonizing over test scores, pondering the many students I have this year who need more than I will ever be able to give them. I am doing better with the stress level this year, and people have noticed. I just leave things undone that I would NEVER have left undone before. I have found, however, they get done eventually, and that no one worries nearly as much about things as I do. Life is too short to spend every moment being anything less than content. All we have is now, and I am trying very hard to live my life with that in mind.

On the personal front, I am planning another date with the man I met through the dating service. I think it is obvious we have an attraction, and I am looking forward to spending more time with him. As to whether or not it will lead to anything long term, I don't know. But I think the journey to find that out will be a pleasing one. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had made different choices about my career and living in a rural area. Then, the answer becomes clear--I wouldn't be who I am. As the line in the Woody Allen movie, Crimes and Misdemeanors, says "We are the sum total of our choices."